I was preparing to pick Mary Claire up from Brownies on Monday when George came running excitedly into the house. "Come see what we found!" he shouted. I was expecting a frog or a turtle or a really cool spider by the sound of his voice. Instead, what I found was a large pile of trash in my garage.
"We went dumpster diving," Gus explained.
Dumpster diving?! What?!
After a series of questions, I determined that Gus and George had revved up the old John Deere Hot Wheels tractor, hooked up the trailer, and proceeded to drive from house to house looking through all our neighbor's recycling bins. I was mortified (and more than a little grossed out).
"Where, exactly, did you go?" I questioned.
"Just to the Christianson's," Gus admitted sheepishly sensing my displeasure. "And to their neighbors. And to their neighbors."
"Gus..." I began, but he interrupted me.
"What?! George pulled me in! I couldn't help it!"
I then proceeded to explain to the boys that going through our neighbors' trash was:
A. Unacceptable
B. Gross
C. An Invasion of Privacy
D. A Punishable Offense
E. Gross
"But we found some pizza coupons," George argued as he dug out the Papa John's flyer.
"Put it all in the trash," I instructed. "And wash your hands. Twice."
I had clearly dashed their dreams of finding treasure in our neighbors' waste, but I was embarrassed and appalled. Imagine who saw them rummaging through recycling bins and throwing empy milk jugs into the back of the tractor! I called Chris to tell him what happened while the boys were cleaning up their mess. He was laughing so hard, I could barely finish telling him the story.
"Can you imagine them?!" he snorted. Then he proceeded to make Hot Wheels tractor noises. "Hey, Gus, let's have a look here. Oh! It's an empty baked bean can! We can use that for something." More Hot Wheels tractor noises followed by a squeaking brake noise. "Doesn't look like there's much here. Let's move on." More tractor noises. You get the idea.
I could tell by now that he had tears running down his face he was laughing so hard. Then he began to sing the "Sanford and Son" theme song. For those of you who remember the song and know how loud my husband is, you can imagine hearing this through the phone line. For those of you who need a refresher, visit this site: http://www.tvland.com/theme_songs/. I know there aren't any lyrics. Chris doesn't need lyrics. Just fill in the sound with "waana, waana." Loudly.
"Don't you dare let them know that you think this is funny," I warned.
"Oh, come on, Kat, you have to admit that's pretty ingenious! Did Gus really say that George 'pulled him in'?! HA! Which one should we call Fred and which one Lamont?!"
These boys (biggest one included) are going to do me in.
"You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you, honey!"
